Darica Paula, 2014

If I Didn't Fail

posted on Saturday, January 11, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Was there a point in your life when quitting makes more sense than braving fears? Or have you encountered times when "I can do this!" becomes a hard pill to swallow?

"Several times.." I hear from you.

Well, life itself is a roller coaster. Take it or leave it. Everyone has downfalls and fair shares of regrets. And that truth is where the shoe pinches. Some people know about others' while some don't. Well, these issues are better kept oftentimes, in fact. But today, I'll allow you to take a peek into my mind and discover my own set of losses. It's not that I find it fun to humiliate myself in front of people but this is something you may consider doing for yourself.

Recognize.
Accept.

**

If I didn't fail at writing poems in pre-school, my words could have traveled a thousand miles. It could have passed across the roads often and less traveled. My thoughts could have expressed louder than spoken words; and written more than what my pens could ever write. My imagination could have gone to the ends of the world and to all where it is conceivable. And probably, I might have inspired a hundred of the unmotivated, discouraged and hopeless.

If I didn't fail at studying hard in grade school, I could have worn "sablay" on my Graduation day in college, holding a degree of Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. I could have studied with the nation's best and got used to the daily scenario at the Sunken Garden after an early "ikot" ride. I could have proposed strategies that were hundred thousand pesos worth. Let's face it. Reality, I speak. I could have gained much more confidence with my academic preparations and industry exposures during job hunting and more. My abilities and capabilities could have fitted through smaller holes of needles and succeeded. I believe, more doors and even windows could have opened right before me when I wasn't even seeking.

If I didn't fail at playing volleyball in high school, I could have competed against different teams from anywhere in the country. I could have brought home the most sought after award in athletics- the Most Valuable Player award- of a piece with what I see on sports programs on television. My spikes and serves could have crossed countless nets, fueled the spirit of competition in every team players that we were playing against. For once, at least, I could have made my signature move that won our team.

If I didn't fail at understanding someone important in college, I would have been the best girlfriend a guy could ever have. I could have loved someone so much that I would surprise myself. I could have gone way farther- beyond respect, beyond care, beyond understanding, beyond love. I could have been that person someone would really be proud of.

Many suggest not to let the sleeping dogs lie; however, I believe, it's better to have all these recognized and accepted. I suppose, there's nothing wrong being on your last legs sometimes. No one comes off so strong the whole time anyway. And nobody knows how hard things might be for others. Sometimes, one finds himself in deep water by not being armored with that certain strength life would require. Sure, his countenance will fall but for as long as he emerges wiser, braver and bolder the next time, things can be put into fair consideration. I strongly believe, first times aren't meant to be aced. Same goes with nobody does his best because everyone has this chance to do better.