Darica Paula, 2014

The Battle Starts After the Rain

posted on Saturday, January 11, 2014 @ 11:02 AM

Posted July 15, 2012

This afternoon was the Comedy King's burial and I couldn't help but kept myself awake to watch on tv as it happened at the cemetery. A conventional burial, I witnessed. People were in black and white, losing absolute control over tears that continuously dripped until wiped. I believe, it wasn't extreme sadness that dominated in Dolphy's family but it is something beyond identification. I don't know how that feeling should be called but one thing's for sure:

Someone had been there.

***

After a birthday dive in the swimming pool, she found her toes bleeding and her Papa asked, "anak, may sugat ka?" Never did she know, that was the last question she could ever hear from him. Hours later, something happened that changed her whole life, with just one snap of her fingers.

She just finished 5th grade when "that" happened. That gradeschool girl had no idea how much to cry or how painful the lost should be to her. She knew very little about death. All she knew was she would be living a life without the pillar of home until reality synced in- a realization that shocked her. No one could tell how painful it was until tears dropped from a kid, who knew nothing much about life. In fact, her tears didn't give people hints on how painful it was to her. Not even a single trace. Those tears were also full of hope- hope that that moment should've not come that soon, or at least, should've delayed itself a little longer. She hates to remember everything because she believes nothing could ever hurt her the way she was hurt.

It's very given that losing someone you love hurts. What more if you lost someone who could teach you to draw like he could, someone who could teach you to sing the way he did, someone who could still punish you just because you couldn't write the scripted small letter Q, someone who could fetch you at school when you don't want to ride in your schoolbus, someone who could cook the best meals on Earth, someone you could lay on when watching your favorite shows at night, someone who could read stories before you sleep, someone who would do anything to give you what you asked for, someone who could stand up as a perfect epitome of the man you want for yourself, someone who could compliment your mom's love for you, someone who you could be proud of, someone you could call "papa"?

Perhaps the aforementioned explains why I hate loathe people who say life is unfair, that they hate life because their dads don't buy them the best and most expensive things on Earth, that dads couldn't attend PTA's at school, that dads confiscate car keys just because they came home really late. I hate it when they get angry and slam their doors. Have they ever thought of the kids who wished could say "good night and I love you" twice, that they could run to when guys made them cry, that they have someone, aside from moms, who could tell them they're beautiful and believe it, that they hoped to grow up in a complete family? If they do, would they still say life is unfair?